"Weekend couples", the status quo of urban families

According to the statistics of nearly 50,000 divorce disputes by Zhejiang provincial courts, it was found that 34.21 percent of the divorce disputes were caused by life trifles, and 30.16 percent were caused by separation, becoming the second most common reason for divorce. The reasons for divorce are different, such as weak emotional foundation, domestic violence, personality differences, lack of communication, etc., which lead to the disintegration of the family. And the divorce caused by separation has a lot to do with the emergence of more and more "weekend couples".

The "weekend couple" families, who live independently on weekdays and get together only on weekends or holidays, has become the consensus of most white-collar workers, especially those struggling in big cities. At present, topics and posts about "weekend couples" can be seen on Weibo, Douyin, Zhihu and other social media. There are many reasons for the emergence of "weekend couples" in modern society. A few people are to keep the fresh feeling between husband and wife, but more people are forced by the pressure of reality, which is the helpless and bitter choice of countless "migrant workers". The "weekend couple" is becoming more and more popular, and we need to pay attention to it, understand it correctly and take it seriously.

Mr. Zhang, an employee of a construction company in Guangzhou, and his wife, Ms. Liu, a teacher who teaches at a middle school in Huizhou, have been married for more than four years. They have one child, 3 years old, who is being cared for by Ms. Liu and is now attending kindergarten. Every Friday, Mr. Zhang stays up late to take the bullet train to the city where his wife and child live. After the reunion, the whole family eats together, watches a movie, and enjoys the wonderful family life. On Sunday afternoon, Mr. Zhang has to go back to Guangzhou and say goodbye to his family. This is the true portrayal of Mr. Zhang, who has lived in different places in recent years. "Every time I leave, especially when my wife is holding my son and waving goodbye, it's hard for me. I want to stop being a "weekend couple" if I have the chance," Mr. Zhang said. There are many cases like Mr. Zhang's in China. And the trend will not abate recently.

For individuals and families, "weekend couples" are more of a disadvantage than an advantage. In the short term, weekend couples can promote the relationship between husband and wife, but in the long term, this relatively loose marriage structure will cause the lack of communication between husband and wife, the lack of obligation and sense of responsibility, will be more likely to fall into extramarital love, more likely to lead to divorce. This can be seen from the big data structure mentioned at the beginning.

From the perspective of social division of labor, the popularity of "weekend couples" reflects that women are playing an increasingly important role in modern families and society. With the improvement of women's status and the increase of urban job opportunities, women have gradually begun to leave their families and enter into the labor market. In the "weekend couple" model, the woman generally has her own job, and most of them are relatively stable or have high income. Under certain conditions, women can choose their own work and have their own career plan instead of having to be attached to a man. In addition, in families with children, such as the Zhang mentioned above, the woman is often the one with the children.

From the perspective of family structure, the "weekend couple" is a reflection of the double salary system in contemporary society and a reflection of the pressure of urban life. Living in modern cities, it is unrealistic to support the entire family only on the income of one spouse, unless one spouse has a very high income, and it is often impossible to maintain normal life operation. Therefore, it is an inevitable choice for the couple to work together to support the family and maximize family income in order to cope with the pressure of family urbanization and development. This reflects the traditional family division of labor pattern of "the male dominates the outside and the female dominates the inside", which is out of date in many aspects of modern society. The urban double-wage family is the product of modern society modernization and urbanization.

The trend of the "weekend couple" shows that the culture of society is becoming more diversified. As a new mode of interpersonal relationship in modern cities, "weekend couple" is a new way of life. Although reality is an important factor in its popularity, the ultimate choice is still in people's hands. More and more people begin to understand, accept and even practice this way of life, which reflects the application of the principles of freedom and democracy in the personal field, and is the lateral embodiment of social progress.

In short, "weekend couples" is an increasingly popular social phenomenon in the new era, and it is already an irreversible trend. Its emergence is the dynamic adjustment of the family to cope with the real pressure. From the social point of view, it reflects that professional women are bearing more and more heavy pressure in the society, and reflects the change of family division of labor, from the traditional dependence on men to the change of family double salary model. At the same time, it reflects the diversified social culture. This model of relationship, however, often meets challenges. How to solve the problems caused by "weekend couples", in addition to the efforts of individuals, also needs the joint efforts of enterprises, the government and the whole society. We look forward to promoting the progress of the society, while taking care of the happiness of the small family.

This commentary reflects the author’s personal opinion and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Global Engagement Academy Shandong University (Weihai).

Wang Keyue, postgraduate student of College of Culture & Communication, Shandong University (Weihai) .

王珂悦，山东大学文化传播学院硕士生